Here I am. Just an hour out of my first year of teaching and I have no idea what it is I'm feeling right now. It's a strange mix of happy, sad, hopeful, anxious, overwhelmed, and underwhelmed. I'm officially no longer a first year teacher. I feel accomplished, and yet there is so much I want to learn. What. A. Whirlwind.
There are many things I learned this year about myself as a teacher and as a person. There are some things I plan to do very differently next year and some things I plan to do just the same. There are some moments I wish I could take back and some moments I wish I could replay forever.
This is what I know:
- I will never forget my first class. I learned as much from this group of kids as they did from me -- Maybe even more. They made me laugh, smile, cry, yell, and absolutely melt. They broke my heart and then put it back together. They challenged me. They made me stretch myself in ways I didn't know I could. I will miss them terribly, and it makes me anxious to know I will start all over with a new group.
- I will be forever grateful for everyone I've collaborated with this year. From my family, to my grade level team, to my mentor, and to you bloggers. I know that this collaboration is what got me through the year. It gave me amazing ideas, inspiration, and motivation. When I was feeling down, this amazing network of teachers helped me through it. I'm so grateful.
- Teaching is in my heart and soul. I would be lying if I said this year was easy. Was I successful? Sure! My kids learned and achieved. I scored very highly on my evaluations. But there was so much working inside of me throughout this year -- anxiety, stress, worry, pressure. Teaching is no cake walk. The work is never-ending. Just when you think you've made a dent, something else piles up. Every single day is different and every single child is different. There were days when I wanted to pull my hair out. But underneath the stress of the job, there is so much heart. I know, without a doubt, that teaching is my calling. Those kids that challenge me, are being sent to me for a reason and a purpose. I was made for this. When those inevitable rough days come along, I can step back and look at the big picture, and that is this: I was born to teach. I am making a difference in these 27 lives. They are making a difference in mine.
I just finished my first year of teaching too and I couldn't agree more with your entire post! I've been done since Friday, but I still can't wrap myself around what my feelings are now that it's over. I loved my class and it makes me nervous/anxious to start the year over with a new group of kids! Great reflection, I enjoyed reading it especially with such similar thoughts! Congrats on finishing your first year!! :)
ReplyDelete✿ Regina
Keepin It Krazy
You will never forget your first class, that is for sure! My first class was boy heavy (13 boys, 5 girls) I thought I was going to pull my hair out! But they taught me how plan my lessons with LOTS of movement built in LOL! You will be an even better teacher next year, I promise! The amazing thing is, this next class will be even better than the first because you will be prepared for what's to come. Congrats on making through your first year!
ReplyDeleteLeigh
The Applicious Teacher
Your post reminds me so much of my first year...9 years ago:) I will always remember that class! I still have that feeling of wanting to learn more and to be a better teacher. Enjoy your summer!
ReplyDeletePrimary Classrooms are Oceans of Fun
I am finishing my tenth year and I can honestly say your first year will always b the best. Probably the hardest, but the one that you'll never forget.
ReplyDeleteCelebrate year one and look forward to being a better you with your new crew. No doubt you already are an amazing teacher!
tania
My Second Sense
Thanks for stopping by! I am now your newest follower as well. I loved what you said here about your first class. My kiddos last year were a challenging, loving, amazing group that I know I will always remember. It was hard to leave them!
ReplyDelete